he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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