She is in my trunk
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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