So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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