whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Randomize
