And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Randomize
