so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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