Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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