You work out of a Hotel?
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
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