just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
