Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
