if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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