I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I just saw a hot homeless man
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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