you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
