he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
