She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
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