Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
