so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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