Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
