Only a mothe r could love this liver
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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