They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
