fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Randomize
