PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
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