great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
