I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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