i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
