those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
