The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
