how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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