She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
