Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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