"it" just moved
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
