I want to have your abortion
It's like God shit irony all over that family
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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