I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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