just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night�
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
