just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
