somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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