Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
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