remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
