THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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