thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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