Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
