okay pat passed out under dana's car
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
