I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
