now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
