just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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