GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I'm gonna fight the coyote
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
