My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
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