Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
