So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Randomize
