i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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